Someone I Love Says Faith Hurt Them: What should I do? - A Resource
by Rebekah Drumsta
When someone you love says, “Religion or faith hurt me,” it can feel like the ground shifts beneath you. Maybe you’re surprised, heartbroken, confused or unsure what to say next. You might feel protective of your faith tradition, or grieve the loss of shared beliefs. You might worry about saying the wrong thing, or feel helpless watching someone you care about wrestle with spiritual pain.
This guide was created for those moments.
It’s not a debate manual. It’s not a theological or religious defense. It’s a gentle, trauma-informed resource designed to help you show up with compassion, curiosity, and care.
Whether you’re a parent, partner, sibling, friend, or community leader, this guide offers:
Reflection prompts to help you process your own reactions
Gentle reframes to shift from defensiveness to understanding
Language tools to support emotionally safe conversations
You don’t need to have all the answers. You shouldn’t show up trying to fix or explain away someone’s experience. But you can learn to listen in ways that honor their story—and yours.
This guide is for anyone who wants to move from confusion to clarity, from silence to support, and from fear to deeper connection.
Let’s begin with humility. Let’s stay open to complexity. Let’s love fully.
Download the 21-page resource, Someone I Love Says Faith Hurt them: What should I do?
Rebekah Drumsta is the founder of the Religious Trauma Network.
This article and resource is not intended to treat or diagnose any condition. Rebekah is not a licensed therapist or clinician. Any advice or opinions given on this site are strictly individual observation and insights based on personal experiences and study. It should in no way take the place of professional assistance.